


Just relax, take your time, it'll be okay

by thetrueliesofafangirl



Category: Her (2013)
Genre: Coda to "Her", F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1924473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetrueliesofafangirl/pseuds/thetrueliesofafangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t mean to fall in love with his operating system. It just sort of….happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just relax, take your time, it'll be okay

**Author's Note:**

> I just watched Her and I absolutely LOVED it. I like the idea of a human/AI romance so I wrote this thing, it's not really a coda, just my idea of what Theodore was feeling.
> 
> The title is from a Biffy Clyro song called [Let's Get Smiling](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB4QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dr58RpthYL3A&ei=mOa8U47gPPHG7AbTy4CICg&usg=AFQjCNFZwJFyyN36cIddB-_bXHBNueD8DQ&sig2=b4uBHAkovchqXY7h-3yIYw&bvm=bv.70138588,d.ZGU) you should check it out

He didn’t mean to fall in love with his operating system. It just sort of….happened. 

His life was so dull and mundane and just blah and the he met Samantha and over time she grew to be his closest friend. Which was kind of sad really. But she was so kind and funny and good and she read advice columns to try and understand him better and didn’t let him mope too long over Katherine and told him when his moustache got to porn-y. She made him smile more, made him write more, made him do more. And over time he stopped thinking of her as Samantha his computer and as Samantha, his friend, his confidante, _his __._

His first date after Katherine was disastrous, he got too drunk too fast, the kiss they exchanged outside the bar was wet and sloppy and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t lie, he couldn’t convince himself and her that he wanted more than just sex. He felt cold and dead inside and his room was lurching sickeningly around him. And then she came online, sounding sad and morose and he couldn’t help himself, he said things he wouldn’t have otherwise, he knew it was stupid but he couldn’t help himself, her voice sounded warm and breathy, the sound of her panting in his ear sounded so real and he was thrusting into his hand but thrusting into her and she was saying his name over and over and _over._

He had never felt so complete.

The next morning he felt uncharacteristically shy, he couldn’t stop nervously running his hands through his hair but somehow he ended up laughing and running like a madman through the train station. He’d never really liked the beach, he hated how the sand got everywhere but she made it a whole new adventure, a little bubble world of their own with soulful piano playing in the background.

Lunch with Katherine was a disaster. A complete and utter fiasco. Her words kept running through his mind and he couldn’t help the niggling of doubt caused by them, Could she be right? Maybe he couldn’t deal with real emotions, maybe he was a coward, maybe his relationship with Samantha _was_ weird.

He knew he had been avoiding her, he couldn’t help it though, he was just so unsure. Then she suggested the surrogate.

He knew from the beginning it was a bad idea, he didn’t need a physical body to feel good, he didn’t need a body to want her. But he went along with it because she wanted it and he would have done anything to make her happy. It was strange and uncomfortable and he felt his old insecurities rising up, he had to stop it, he couldn’t go through with it, couldn’t picture Samantha as a silent blonde puppet he got angry, she got angrier and the night went up in flames.

He was so glad when they made up, everything was cold and dull without her and she was back as a splash of colour in the drab browns and dull greys of his life. Their impromptu holiday was shaping up to be the best time in his life, he’d never been so happy.

So naturally he had to screw it all up. 

Intellectually he knew that she wasn’t his girlfriend, he knew that she was an operating system, a machine, a computer but his heart wasn’t intellectual, his heart wasn’t logical. Then she told him she was in love with six hundred other people and he couldn’t take it, he couldn’t fucking take it, it was so obvious now, she was never really his, she would never be his because she wasn’t a person, she wasn’t Samantha, she was just a _thing_.

He had just about managed to believe it when she left.

He tried to convince himself that he could live without her, he had been fine before, he could be fine again but he felt like there was a deep dark chasm in his chest and the only thing that could fill it was her. He couldn't breathe, he was drowning in his grief, it's cold hands wrapped tight around his chest. He felt like he was suffocating under the weight of his despair and aching loneliness.

But every day the darkness got a little lighter and the deepness got a little shallower and one morning he woke up and he could breathe again. The world was still drab and dull but as he sat on the rooftop with Amy, watching the sunrise, he felt a little warmth seep into him and thought, “Maybe I will be okay”.

(It took a little time but eventually, he was)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](thetrueliesofafangirl.tumblr.com)! Come talk to me about Joaquin Phoenix's moustache


End file.
